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Script project. Now with more plot!
This class is totally kicking my ass in the good way. Every Thursday roughly between 3p and 6p I revert into a five year old handing a beloved adult a shiny. I shit you not. My teacher is made of both Win and Epic, and I would do anything for her. She handed back our first five pages of script (which I would post here if it weren't for the insanity it is to code it properly for LJ. I will when it's done. I promise.) today, and mine had notes on it!! She said I had a "Terrific opening" and "Script work is terriffic! Compress some description" which turned out to be only one section.
:D
I am ridiculously pleased.
So, as promised before, here is another assignment we had to do. It's the ENTIRE plot. It's format is called a "Step Outline" and you're meant to squeeze you entire description of your plot into three pages maximum. Oi. I managed, but as you will see things were sacrificed I didn't want to cut out. The ending, for example, does not read as epic as it really is. Rawr. I am happy that I now have some kind of road map to follow. It will be fun to see where the plot really goes in the revision process.
STEP OUTLINE
1. Alleyway – late night. Tom makes his way towards his car while leaving a voicemail to his wife, Lana. The meeting with the Supernatural Club was a success tonight, with even more activity reported. A creature in the shadows stalks him. The lights in the area dim as it collects itself. Being suspicious, Tom turns to see the monster creeping closer. He makes a stand against it to no affect. As the creature lunges forward all the lights, once dim, suddenly flare to maximum exploding from the power surge.
2. Apartment – next morning. The room is filled with packing boxes, a few showing signs of surviving a fire. Rummaging in one of the crispy boxes we meet Jake. He’s trying to separate a water damaged photo stuck to others. He’s contemplative as he looks at the smiling woman. Answering his ringing mobile, he cuts to the chase explaining he’s not changing his mind he’s still moving. Jake places the woman’s photo in a clean box. It’s his sister Lana on the phone, telling him her husband was murdered. She knows it’s not a typical murder and wants him to take the case. He resists, but assures he’ll get the right people to look into it. Lana wins her plea and gets Jake to check out the crime scene.
3. Alleyway. A man photographs the gruesome scene of Tom’s end. This is Sam who is greeted by an agitated Jake. Sam notes Jake looks like shit. Jake explains another headache is getting to him, probably because he found Lisa’s photo and now Tom. Sam is sympathetic. Jake is distracted be seeing an off color glow around the streetlamps. Sam, impressed, says no one else caught that the exploded lamps. Lana surprises them at the scene. Both men try blocking her from the body. Jake admits the death was abnormal and agrees to take her voicemail to a colleague for examination.
4. Police headquarters’ basement office. Jake asks Charlie, his tech specialist to review Lana’s voicemail from Tom. Charlie, obviously having a crush on Lana, gives his awkward condolences then swears an oath to do his best work.
5. As Charlie gets lost in his work, Jake pulls Lana to the small sitting area wanting her to rest. Lana says he should understand she won’t run away from this like he did with Lisa’s death. Upset, he explains it’s not only losing Lisa, but being stuck in a self destructive city with ghost stories and fear of the world ending. The argument is an old one. Lana mentions Jake is afraid of the truth. Things really do exist. He led the investigation department to debunk it. He gives up, telling Lana she was always too gullible with their Gran’s stories.
6. Charlie, overly pleased with himself, shows the recording. Amongst the static noise is a clear message spoken: the start of the end. Jake scoffs at this. It’s only more psychos killing senselessly in fear. Lana disagrees, saying the wording matched some research of hers. Jake, humoring, takes her to her office.
7. University – Lana’s office. Lana is digging through files. Jake jokes that he isn’t needed to investigate; she has it all under control. She’s not amused, but shows him her research on a lost civilization's belief of the world ending. Ancients fought over the world but were defeated and banished. One day, the timing would be right for their return and they insured this by having agents prepare the way. Photos of the dig site showing painted shadow beasts. Jake is still skeptical.
8. Jake’s mobile rings. News from Sam: another murder occurred in the same style as Tom. Lana asks about odd scorch marks. Sam finds them. Jake jokes again about Lana doing his job.
9. North Park. Jake and Lana arrive. Sam greets them. The victim was a young woman. Jake is grumpy about being sent across town, the murder can’t have anything to do with Tom. Sam disagrees and show’s Jake his photos. Off color auras surround objects. Lana thinks she knows the girl, but can’t tell because it’s too gruesome. Jake spots a CCTV camera.
10. Police headquarters’ basement office. Charlie, with Jake, is getting the CCTV footage. Sam is working on his crime scene photos with Lana watching the process. Sam’s worried about Lana. She’s pushing herself. Lana affectionately puts him in his place, tired with all the coddling. It’s like she has two brothers. She spots distinct writing in the blood smears. Sam remarks she’s too clever sometimes.
11. Charlie is once again pleased with himself. The footage is ready. Jake notes it’s the exact time Tom was killed. It shows the young woman loitering. The lights dim, the feed is lost for a moment, snapping back to show a human figure grabbing the girl before the video cuts off permanently. Charlie in response to Jack’s dismay, shows him a cleaned still of the woman. Lana gasps. It’s Jane, Tom’s research assistant and co-leader of the Supernatural Club. Time to go talk to the club.
12. University auditorium classroom. Jake and Lana interview people in Tom’s club. Jane was absent last night because she was investigating an anonymous tip. Tom had the info in his office.
13. Tom’s office. An emotional Lana helps Jake search through her husband’s things. His death is finally getting to her. They find reports on increased sightings of shadow creatures and other activity over the entire city. Jake decides to take Lana home.
14. Lana’s home. Sam arrives late with dinner for all three. Jake catches Sam up on what they found. Lana decides to go to bed at the men’s constant pestering.
15. Sam and Jake have a moment. Sam tries again to change Jake’s mind about leaving the city. Jake is clearly tired of this and starts to get angry when suddenly Sam kisses him. Shocked, Jake can only listen as Sam explains himself. Jake assures Sam there’s nothing between them from his side. Sam, a bit dejected, responds at least he took the opportunity before Jake left. It was enough. Jake’s head is killing him. He excuses himself for the night, leaving Sam the comfortable couch to crash on.
16. Police headquarters – next morning. Jake calls out for Charlie to show him what new footage he found before realizing Charlie isn’t there. Jake is constantly seeing things from weird colors to quick moving shapes, to whispers. One whisper clearly says Charlie was three of five. Jake thinks he’s going crazy.
17. Sam and Lana arrive having stopped by Lana’s office to get her research. She thinks there will be five killings, sacrifices in all. Jake is startled as he remembers the whisper. Find Charlie!
18. Police headquarters’ roof. Jake comes across an all too familiar scene. Charlie has been killed. As he approaches his friend’s body he can clearly see a shadow creature watching him grieve. It tells him it’s honored to kill for him. In a rage, Jake manages to banish the creature with a crackle of energy that booms around the area. Jake is stunned. Impossible!
19. Lana and Sam come running to the roof, finding Jake and Charlie’s body. Sam is serious and quiet. Lana goes to Jake who tells her what happened. He can’t ignore this. It’s his fault. He has to stop the killings. Sam is happy to hear that. Lana thinks Sam should be more upset. He says he’s in shock.
20. Lana’s home. The siblings comfort each other. Lana says her research is explaining all this. As a cataclysm gets closer these exact events happen. Gran always told them the story, stressing it meant to make the right choices. Jake is overwhelmed and leaves.
21. Jake revisits each crime scene on his own. He feels like he is losing his mind as each scene is vivid in colors and odd energies. Figures and whispers are constantly just out of reach of his senses as he wanders around. He finds himself back at the park where Jane was killed. His wife, dead wife, Lisa appears to him. Tells him to stop being stupid and accept what’s in front of him. He blacks out.
22. Lana’s home. Lana is organizing her work. Email from Charlie: Urgent, new footage. Different angle. Sam is seen killing Jane. Lana startles as Sam rings her doorbell.
23. Jake is woken up by a homeless man complaining he’s in his spot. To Jake, the man turns into Tom warning him Lana is in danger. Jake runs for Lana.
24. Lana’s home. Jake explodes into the house to see Lana holding Sam at gunpoint. Jake is confused.
25. Big reveal. Lana tells him everything. Sam confirms it without guilt. He’s been training Jake for the big day. He has to be a man with nothing, that’s why he killed Lisa too. So much death, yes, but each murder over the past couple of days was strategic in unlocking Jake’s abilities. Lana is next.
26. Jake moves to protect his sister. Lana is ahead of the curve yet again. She puts the gun to her head. Jake freaks out. She explains if she kills herself, Sam can’t use her in the equation. She can stop it all. Jake frantically pleads with her. This is insane! Lana pulls the trigger.
27. Sam tries to comfort a stricken Jake. In a rage, emotionally broken, Jake literally throws Sam out of the house with his abilities. Sam brushes it off saying the timing is wrong and leaves Jake to grieve.
28. Jake’s apartment. Jake, still covered in Lana’s blood arrives home. He takes a moment to look at his packed away life before finding Lisa’s photo he stored in the box. His restart wasn’t mean to be. At least he could finally get closure with Lisa’s death. He leaves without another look at the packed boxes.
29. University rooftop – sunset. Jake finds Sam waiting for him. Sam congratulates Jake on finding him and gives a genuine apology for all the suffering. Jake doesn’t want it. Sam gives them the history of what’s happening. Jake tells him he’s changing the rules. He won’t be like Sam.
30. Sam says it’s inevitable. Jake attempts to attack. The fight is fierce. As it progresses across the cityscape, Jake becomes more able to use superhuman attacks. Sam seems to be happy about this, much to Jake’s annoyance. The night sky is slowly slicing open letting in huge monsters. It’s revealed that Sam is the last piece to fall then Jake will take his place and will lead the ancients back into their rightful domain.
31. Jake, collecting himself as he watches the torn apart sky, makes a decision. He fights Sam again, but maneuvers it to wear Sam, at a last moment, is destroyed by one of the beasts and not Jake. This still triggers Jake to be fully unlocked, but there is a backlash. All the energy from Jake pours out and seals the sky. Jake collapses as if dead.
32. Morning. Jake looks out over the demolished city. Already, people are trying to rebuild. A man with nothing to lose has found his purpose. He, like the city, will rebuild and protect once again.
There you go. The girl who got to read this breakdown couldn't stop reading it! Another ego boost to me :D I've worked really hard on it.
:D
I am ridiculously pleased.
So, as promised before, here is another assignment we had to do. It's the ENTIRE plot. It's format is called a "Step Outline" and you're meant to squeeze you entire description of your plot into three pages maximum. Oi. I managed, but as you will see things were sacrificed I didn't want to cut out. The ending, for example, does not read as epic as it really is. Rawr. I am happy that I now have some kind of road map to follow. It will be fun to see where the plot really goes in the revision process.
STEP OUTLINE
1. Alleyway – late night. Tom makes his way towards his car while leaving a voicemail to his wife, Lana. The meeting with the Supernatural Club was a success tonight, with even more activity reported. A creature in the shadows stalks him. The lights in the area dim as it collects itself. Being suspicious, Tom turns to see the monster creeping closer. He makes a stand against it to no affect. As the creature lunges forward all the lights, once dim, suddenly flare to maximum exploding from the power surge.
2. Apartment – next morning. The room is filled with packing boxes, a few showing signs of surviving a fire. Rummaging in one of the crispy boxes we meet Jake. He’s trying to separate a water damaged photo stuck to others. He’s contemplative as he looks at the smiling woman. Answering his ringing mobile, he cuts to the chase explaining he’s not changing his mind he’s still moving. Jake places the woman’s photo in a clean box. It’s his sister Lana on the phone, telling him her husband was murdered. She knows it’s not a typical murder and wants him to take the case. He resists, but assures he’ll get the right people to look into it. Lana wins her plea and gets Jake to check out the crime scene.
3. Alleyway. A man photographs the gruesome scene of Tom’s end. This is Sam who is greeted by an agitated Jake. Sam notes Jake looks like shit. Jake explains another headache is getting to him, probably because he found Lisa’s photo and now Tom. Sam is sympathetic. Jake is distracted be seeing an off color glow around the streetlamps. Sam, impressed, says no one else caught that the exploded lamps. Lana surprises them at the scene. Both men try blocking her from the body. Jake admits the death was abnormal and agrees to take her voicemail to a colleague for examination.
4. Police headquarters’ basement office. Jake asks Charlie, his tech specialist to review Lana’s voicemail from Tom. Charlie, obviously having a crush on Lana, gives his awkward condolences then swears an oath to do his best work.
5. As Charlie gets lost in his work, Jake pulls Lana to the small sitting area wanting her to rest. Lana says he should understand she won’t run away from this like he did with Lisa’s death. Upset, he explains it’s not only losing Lisa, but being stuck in a self destructive city with ghost stories and fear of the world ending. The argument is an old one. Lana mentions Jake is afraid of the truth. Things really do exist. He led the investigation department to debunk it. He gives up, telling Lana she was always too gullible with their Gran’s stories.
6. Charlie, overly pleased with himself, shows the recording. Amongst the static noise is a clear message spoken: the start of the end. Jake scoffs at this. It’s only more psychos killing senselessly in fear. Lana disagrees, saying the wording matched some research of hers. Jake, humoring, takes her to her office.
7. University – Lana’s office. Lana is digging through files. Jake jokes that he isn’t needed to investigate; she has it all under control. She’s not amused, but shows him her research on a lost civilization's belief of the world ending. Ancients fought over the world but were defeated and banished. One day, the timing would be right for their return and they insured this by having agents prepare the way. Photos of the dig site showing painted shadow beasts. Jake is still skeptical.
8. Jake’s mobile rings. News from Sam: another murder occurred in the same style as Tom. Lana asks about odd scorch marks. Sam finds them. Jake jokes again about Lana doing his job.
9. North Park. Jake and Lana arrive. Sam greets them. The victim was a young woman. Jake is grumpy about being sent across town, the murder can’t have anything to do with Tom. Sam disagrees and show’s Jake his photos. Off color auras surround objects. Lana thinks she knows the girl, but can’t tell because it’s too gruesome. Jake spots a CCTV camera.
10. Police headquarters’ basement office. Charlie, with Jake, is getting the CCTV footage. Sam is working on his crime scene photos with Lana watching the process. Sam’s worried about Lana. She’s pushing herself. Lana affectionately puts him in his place, tired with all the coddling. It’s like she has two brothers. She spots distinct writing in the blood smears. Sam remarks she’s too clever sometimes.
11. Charlie is once again pleased with himself. The footage is ready. Jake notes it’s the exact time Tom was killed. It shows the young woman loitering. The lights dim, the feed is lost for a moment, snapping back to show a human figure grabbing the girl before the video cuts off permanently. Charlie in response to Jack’s dismay, shows him a cleaned still of the woman. Lana gasps. It’s Jane, Tom’s research assistant and co-leader of the Supernatural Club. Time to go talk to the club.
12. University auditorium classroom. Jake and Lana interview people in Tom’s club. Jane was absent last night because she was investigating an anonymous tip. Tom had the info in his office.
13. Tom’s office. An emotional Lana helps Jake search through her husband’s things. His death is finally getting to her. They find reports on increased sightings of shadow creatures and other activity over the entire city. Jake decides to take Lana home.
14. Lana’s home. Sam arrives late with dinner for all three. Jake catches Sam up on what they found. Lana decides to go to bed at the men’s constant pestering.
15. Sam and Jake have a moment. Sam tries again to change Jake’s mind about leaving the city. Jake is clearly tired of this and starts to get angry when suddenly Sam kisses him. Shocked, Jake can only listen as Sam explains himself. Jake assures Sam there’s nothing between them from his side. Sam, a bit dejected, responds at least he took the opportunity before Jake left. It was enough. Jake’s head is killing him. He excuses himself for the night, leaving Sam the comfortable couch to crash on.
16. Police headquarters – next morning. Jake calls out for Charlie to show him what new footage he found before realizing Charlie isn’t there. Jake is constantly seeing things from weird colors to quick moving shapes, to whispers. One whisper clearly says Charlie was three of five. Jake thinks he’s going crazy.
17. Sam and Lana arrive having stopped by Lana’s office to get her research. She thinks there will be five killings, sacrifices in all. Jake is startled as he remembers the whisper. Find Charlie!
18. Police headquarters’ roof. Jake comes across an all too familiar scene. Charlie has been killed. As he approaches his friend’s body he can clearly see a shadow creature watching him grieve. It tells him it’s honored to kill for him. In a rage, Jake manages to banish the creature with a crackle of energy that booms around the area. Jake is stunned. Impossible!
19. Lana and Sam come running to the roof, finding Jake and Charlie’s body. Sam is serious and quiet. Lana goes to Jake who tells her what happened. He can’t ignore this. It’s his fault. He has to stop the killings. Sam is happy to hear that. Lana thinks Sam should be more upset. He says he’s in shock.
20. Lana’s home. The siblings comfort each other. Lana says her research is explaining all this. As a cataclysm gets closer these exact events happen. Gran always told them the story, stressing it meant to make the right choices. Jake is overwhelmed and leaves.
21. Jake revisits each crime scene on his own. He feels like he is losing his mind as each scene is vivid in colors and odd energies. Figures and whispers are constantly just out of reach of his senses as he wanders around. He finds himself back at the park where Jane was killed. His wife, dead wife, Lisa appears to him. Tells him to stop being stupid and accept what’s in front of him. He blacks out.
22. Lana’s home. Lana is organizing her work. Email from Charlie: Urgent, new footage. Different angle. Sam is seen killing Jane. Lana startles as Sam rings her doorbell.
23. Jake is woken up by a homeless man complaining he’s in his spot. To Jake, the man turns into Tom warning him Lana is in danger. Jake runs for Lana.
24. Lana’s home. Jake explodes into the house to see Lana holding Sam at gunpoint. Jake is confused.
25. Big reveal. Lana tells him everything. Sam confirms it without guilt. He’s been training Jake for the big day. He has to be a man with nothing, that’s why he killed Lisa too. So much death, yes, but each murder over the past couple of days was strategic in unlocking Jake’s abilities. Lana is next.
26. Jake moves to protect his sister. Lana is ahead of the curve yet again. She puts the gun to her head. Jake freaks out. She explains if she kills herself, Sam can’t use her in the equation. She can stop it all. Jake frantically pleads with her. This is insane! Lana pulls the trigger.
27. Sam tries to comfort a stricken Jake. In a rage, emotionally broken, Jake literally throws Sam out of the house with his abilities. Sam brushes it off saying the timing is wrong and leaves Jake to grieve.
28. Jake’s apartment. Jake, still covered in Lana’s blood arrives home. He takes a moment to look at his packed away life before finding Lisa’s photo he stored in the box. His restart wasn’t mean to be. At least he could finally get closure with Lisa’s death. He leaves without another look at the packed boxes.
29. University rooftop – sunset. Jake finds Sam waiting for him. Sam congratulates Jake on finding him and gives a genuine apology for all the suffering. Jake doesn’t want it. Sam gives them the history of what’s happening. Jake tells him he’s changing the rules. He won’t be like Sam.
30. Sam says it’s inevitable. Jake attempts to attack. The fight is fierce. As it progresses across the cityscape, Jake becomes more able to use superhuman attacks. Sam seems to be happy about this, much to Jake’s annoyance. The night sky is slowly slicing open letting in huge monsters. It’s revealed that Sam is the last piece to fall then Jake will take his place and will lead the ancients back into their rightful domain.
31. Jake, collecting himself as he watches the torn apart sky, makes a decision. He fights Sam again, but maneuvers it to wear Sam, at a last moment, is destroyed by one of the beasts and not Jake. This still triggers Jake to be fully unlocked, but there is a backlash. All the energy from Jake pours out and seals the sky. Jake collapses as if dead.
32. Morning. Jake looks out over the demolished city. Already, people are trying to rebuild. A man with nothing to lose has found his purpose. He, like the city, will rebuild and protect once again.
There you go. The girl who got to read this breakdown couldn't stop reading it! Another ego boost to me :D I've worked really hard on it.
*falls over* @_@